The Odd Couple in Paris Read online

  “French men are very chauvinistic. If a woman is with a man, they expect the man to take care of everything.”

  “Well that’s fucked up—so annoying.”

  “Let’s go have something to drink,” said Dillon.

  They sat outside at an open café. It was late afternoon. Lulu had a beer and Dillon had a glass of wine. “You look American drinking that beer.”

  “I’m really thirsty. Their bottled water costs the same as a beer.”

  “Is your dad full Italian?” asked Dillon.

  “Yes. I’m mostly Italian and a little English. Martin’s mother is English, as you know, and his father is Italian American. They’re my maternal grandparents. My mother loves Italian men just like her brother Martin does. My dad is Italian American. I can speak some Italian, but I understand better than I speak. My dad’s parents live in New Jersey. So we don’t see them that often.”

  “Have you ever been to Italy?” asked Dillon.

  “When I was a child. I want to go back again, but I wanted to see Paris this summer because I’ve never been here before.”

  “What kind of work are you looking for?” asked Dillon.

  “I have a master’s in English and a teaching certificate. I’m going to look for a teaching position. I wouldn’t mind living in Europe for a year and teaching. It’s really relaxing here. The people seem to know how to enjoy life more than the Americans.”

  “I miss my friend Jena. I don’t think that I could stay here for a year—not now anyway. I want to finish school and get that over with. The people here are pretty arrogant. They’re friendlier in Nice. I went to Nice for a week, shortly after I arrived in Paris. It’s warmer and the people are nicer.”

  “I’m excited to be going to Nice. Should we head back to the apartment to regroup?” asked Lulu.

  “Sure. Let’s go,” said Dillon.

  “Let’s cross at the light. I don’t like to jaywalk.”

  “We can make it—run.” Dillon and Lulu ran across the street. A man in a little Fiat wasn’t paying attention and crashed into another car because he dodged to avoid hitting Lulu and Dillon. Soon there was a screaming match.

  “Let’s get out of here and run down that alley,” said Dillon. Lulu spotted a bookstore and they both went in and tried to compose themselves. They quickly walked upstairs and hid behind a row of shelves.

  “Oh my God. I’m never listening to you again. I told you that I don’t like to jaywalk.”

  “The drivers here are crazy. Take your bright sweater off and put it in your tote bag.”

  “What about your Hawaiian shirt?”

  “I can take it off; I have a T-shirt underneath.” Lulu rolled up his shirt and put it in her tote bag along with her sweater.

  “When we leave, we should go separately,” said Dillon.

  “Do you think that we can get into trouble for this?” asked Lulu.

  “Probably. They could fine us and make us pay for the damage. I don’t know if anyone was paying that much attention. I’m going to find a window and see if I can see anything.” Dillon looked out the window and saw across the street.

  “Did you see anything?”

  “Yes, there’re two police cars and a lot of gesturing. I think we should get out of here by the back entrance. I’ll go first then you go in about two minutes.”

  Lulu waited nervously for two minutes then left out the back door. She walked quickly until she was several blocks away. She walked by a park and heard Dillon calling her.

  “I didn’t know if you had gone back to the apartment, but I’m glad you waited. I wasn’t sure how to get back.”

  “I thought you probably didn’t know since this was a new area for you.”

  “Let’s just go back. I want to change clothes. Maybe I am being paranoid,” said Lulu.

  “Maybe not. I haven’t seen too many Asian guys around here walking with a white woman.”

  “That’s true. Let’s stay on the side streets and walk quickly,” said Lulu.

  When they got back to the apartment they collapsed on the sofa. “Well, it’s a lesson learned. Don’t jaywalk here among all the traffic,” said Lulu.

  “Do you feel guilty?” asked Dillon.

  “A little. But we’re tourists. Hopefully they have insurance.”

  “I’m going to go to my room,” said Dillon.

  “Me too. I’ll just find something to eat here tonight. Don’t really feel like going out.”

  “I might go out for a while later,” said Dillon.

  Lulu needed a break from Dillon. She just wanted to read and relax.

  4

  Taking the Train to Nice

  “I’m all packed and ready to go” said Lulu.

  “Just give me a few minutes.” While Dillon finished packing, Lulu went around and checked all of the windows to make sure that they were locked. And she unplugged the appliances.

  “Did you remember to pack a large bottle of water?” asked Dillon.

  “Yes, and I have a bag with apples, boiled eggs, and bread.”

  Dillon put the apartment keys in his pocket, and they headed out to the train station.

  “I’m excited to be going to Nice. I can’t wait to see the blue Mediterranean ocean.”

  “You’re from California—why so fascinated with the ocean?” asked Dillon.

  “Well, for one thing, the water is cold in California. I like warm water. And the Mediterranean is supposed to be so blue.”

  “I’m not really interested in the ocean. But if you go with me to the museums, then I’ll go to the beach with you but not every day. It’s a waste of time.” They approached the train and got in.

  “Look at that woman—how dressed up she is. I bet she goes to first class,” said Dillon.

  “Look at the one behind her. She looks like she came from the country. Oh no, they’re getting into an argument. The rich one won’t let her into the bathroom,” said Lulu.

  “That’s because that bathroom is for first class only,” said Dillon.

  “I wish that I could use the first-class bathroom.”

  “Well, try to hold it as long as you can. The second-class bathrooms on the trains are disgusting, especially for women.”

  “Hmm, wonder if I can last six hours. What are you drawing in your stretch book?”

  “Just silly stuff. I have to draw every day because of my Ford grant. That’s why I have to visit museums. I’m going to draw the train seat in front of me. Maybe some people will get on at the next stop.”

  Two guys got on and sat on the other side, across from Lulu and Dillon. “Hey,” said Dillon. The two just nodded their heads. They talked among themselves. Lulu thought they were speaking German, but she couldn’t understand their dialect. She had studied German in college. She asked them if they could speak German, and they got insulted. They then spoke in high German to her, just to prove that they knew how to speak the formal German. Then they switched to English.

  “We’re from Basel, Switzerland. My name is Hans, and this is Peter. Are you students too?”

  “I just graduated, I’m Lulu. But Dillon is still in college. He’s an artist.”

  “Can I see your book?” asked Hans, the blond Swiss student.

  Dillon handed him his sketchbook and called the student Chockey Bickey. The student looked puzzled but Dillon started grinning and laughing. The two students laughed along with him. Dillon just rambled on about his Ford scholarship. The bookish student, Peter, kept staring at Lulu and made comments about her to his buddy, who was the better-looking one. They were speaking in the Swiss dialect again, but Lulu could understand that Hans thought that she was too fat.

  How insulting, she thought. She knew that she wasn’t fat.

  “Dillon, do you think I’m fat?”

  “No, are you serious? Why would you
think that?”

  “Because Blondie over there told his buddy that I was fat.” The two students were looking out the train window and not paying attention to Dillon and Lulu.

  “How arrogant of him,” said Dillon. After that, Dillon proceeded to sing and make a nuisance of himself to annoy the Swiss students. Lulu took out her boiled eggs and gave one to Dillon with the bread and apple slices. She offered an egg to the Hans and Peter, but they both declined.

  “What’s wrong, afraid you might get fat?” asked Lulu. Hans blushed slightly and looked out the window. Peter just grinned.

  Lulu and Dillon called each other Chockey Bickey and said silly things during the rest of the train ride. When they got to Nice, the Swiss students bolted out.

  “I hope that we can find rooms in a hotel. This is the tourist season,” said Lulu.

  “It shouldn’t be a problem.”

  They went to all the hotels that they saw, but everything was sold out. “Let’s try this one,” said Dillon.

  “Bonjour” said the hotel clerk.

  “We need two rooms,” said Lulu.

  “Are you Canadian?”

  “Yes, oui,” said Lulu.

  “We have only one room left in this hotel. This is a very busy time of year.”

  “Do you have two beds in the room?” asked Lulu.

  “No, there is only one, but it is a big bed.”

  “We’ve been to five other hotels, and I’m tired of dragging my suitcase around. What if there aren’t any more rooms anywhere else,” said Dillon.

  “We’ll take it,” said Lulu.

  “Merci, and your passports please.”

  “What are you going to do with our passports?” asked Lulu.

  “We keep them in our safe until you depart.”

  Lulu and Dillon handed over their passports reluctantly.

  “You are Americans,” said the clerk with a frown.

  “My parents are Canadian,” said Lulu.

  “My parents are Japanese,” said Dillon with a big grin on his face.

  “The clerk handed the keys to Dillon and Lulu. He said something in French that Lulu and Dillon didn’t understand. They took the elevator up to their room.

  “That bed isn’t big,” exclaimed Lulu.

  “Maybe it’s big by French standards. Don’t ever tell my mother that we shared a bed. We’re going to have an imaginary line right down the middle. Just don’t cross it,” said Dillon. Lulu rolled her eyes.

  “I’m going to take a shower,” said Lulu.

  “OK, I’m going downstairs and checking out the hotel scenery.”

  While Lulu took a shower, Dillon sat outside at the café next door. He sipped his coffee and watched the men going by. Some would say hello to him. A few would even ask to see his muscles. Dillon was lacking in that department. The men were amused.

  Dillon was happy to be in Nice. He could wear his Hawaiian shirts and shorts and not be cold. Even at night it was pleasant outside. The best thing was that he had Lulu to keep him company. He had been lonely before she arrived. He would meet a few gay men, but no one was really a friend. He missed Jena. He thought of how he was mesmerized by her long fingers and how they worked the clay when she threw her pots. Her hands looked masculine. They were strong hands. They made beautiful jewelry too.

  Lulu opened her hotel window and saw Dillon approaching the hotel. She yelled out the window, “Hey, Chockey Bickey.”

  Dillon looked up and waved. She could hear him come up the steps to their room. “How is the water?”

  “It’s warm enough, but you have to use the hose and turn it off and on. It’s a European shower. I’m going downstairs to see if they have a gift shop or some type of convenience shop while you take a shower. Then let’s go find a restaurant for dinner—one with seafood.”

  She found a little shop that had water and other necessities. Funny how mineral water was priced the same as beer. She bought two bottles to keep in the hotel room. She thought about her boyfriend in California: if he was only a few years older or had already finished with college…The timing was off. She knew that their relationship was going to end.

  “I’m ready,” said Dillon.

  “Let’s ask the hotel concierge where the locals go for seafood.”

  “Monsieur, where can we find a little café to eat seafood?” asked Lulu. Monsieur Benoit was also the one that checked them in. He was a little man with a mustache and rather stiff and unfriendly toward Lulu and Dillon. Especially after he discovered that they were American. He looked them over for a moment before he would answer. Lulu felt the need to repeat the question.

  “Down the street is Café Bizou—they have much seafood.”

  “Merci,” answered Lulu and Dillon.

  “Good evening, Dillon.”

  “Hi, Pierre,” answered Dillon. Dillon laughed as Pierre felt for Dillon’s muscles.

  As they walked away, Lulu asked Dillon what that was about.

  “Where did you meet him?”

  “He’s staying at the hotel. I was talking to him earlier when you were in the shower.”

  “Why is he feeling your muscles in your arm?”

  “I don’t know. It amuses him. Probably because I don’t have any.”

  “God, so weird. Is he gay?”

  “I don’t know,” answered Dillon.

  5

  Café Greco

  It was a small café with tables inside and outside. Dillon and Lulu decided to sit outside. When the young waitress came, it became apparent that she didn’t speak any English. She appeared nervous so Lulu thought that maybe she was new. Lulu pointed to the fish and beans on the menu and said, “Deux,” and pointed to the mineral water. She saw a young couple eating the same thing that she had ordered.

  “Well, that couple over there seems to be enjoying their meal. They’re eating the fish and green beans like we ordered. They look American or Canadian. Here comes our waitress,” said Dillon. The waitress had the fish plate with potatoes, along with some bread.

  “Merci,” said Lulu.

  “What happened to our beans?” asked Dillon.

  “Oh, you’re right. I’ll ask her when she comes back with our water. You forgot our green beans!”

  “Pardon. Je ne comprends pas.” I’m sorry, but I don’t understand you.

  “She doesn’t understand us. Look over there.” Lulu pointed to the young couple. The waitress went to the other side of the patio and looked at the table with silverware. Then she came back and looked under the table and finally up to the sky. Dillon started laughing. And it was hard for Lulu to keep a straight face. She tried pointing to the menu, but the waitress just shook her head. The manager came out and started yelling at the waitress in French.

  “Oh well, at least we got potatoes with the fish. That couple over there got the green beans and the potatoes. She acts like an airhead,” said Dillon.

  After Dillon and Lulu paid their bill, the young man said, “Sorry you didn’t get your green beans mate, they were quite good. We don’t speak French either, or we would have come to your rescue.”

  Dillon and Lulu introduced themselves. Julie and Ben from Canada asked if Lulu and Dillon would like to join them for a walk. Dillon and Lulu agreed. Ben was a very handsome blonde, and Julie was just an average-looking woman with a slight overbite. She was blond also, but her hair was more of a dark blond.

  “Ben, you sound more English than Julie,” said Lulu.

  “My parents emigrated from England to Canada. But Julie’s parents were born in Canada.”

  “Julie, you sound almost American,” said Lulu.

  “I live in Ontario, which is very close to the American border.”

  “Are you two married?” asked Dillon.

  “Yes, for five years,” answered Julie. Julie started having a private con
versation with Dillon as Lulu walked with Ben.

  “You’re quite pretty,” said Ben. Lulu flushed slightly.

  “You shouldn’t be saying that to me while you’re wife is right behind you.”

  “Oh, she wouldn’t care. Really, she wouldn’t. Is Dillon your boyfriend, then?”

  “No, we’re just keeping each other company while here in France. I met him through my uncle while we were in Paris. Nothing romantic, you know.”

  “Do you ever swing?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You know, switch off?” Ben put his arm around Lulu’s waist.

  “Don’t do that. You’re married.”

  “That’s what I am trying to tell you. Julie doesn’t care.” Ben looked back at Julie who was laughing and having a good time with Dillon. “Let’s you and me have a roll in the hay, and Julie can do the same with Dillon.”

  “Excuse me for a moment,” said Lulu to Ben. She grabbed Dillon by the arm and told him that she needed to talk to him.

  “We have to get out of here—they’re a kinky couple,” whispered Lulu. Lulu and Dillon started skipping until they came to a crosswalk. They waved and walked across the street, leaving Ben and Julie behind.

  “Yeah, Julie was starting to make hints to me too. Funny, they looked so conservative. Wow, you can never tell,” said Dillon.

  “What surprised me is that they’re both young and only married for five years. They obviously aren’t that into each other. Ben is really cute but too weird for me.”

  “Let’s get up early tomorrow and visit the Monet museum, and then we can go to the beach after that. I should warn you that the toilet paper is kind of rough, as you probably have noticed. It’s important that you rub the paper together in your hands first, or you’ll stop up the toilet,” said Dillon.

  “I’m fine with going to the museum early. I don’t know who told you about the toilet paper, but that sounds so strange to me,” said Lulu.

  “Trust me on that one.”

  6

  The Museums

  They got up early and had their complementary hotel breakfast. While Dillon went to the restroom, the Vietnamese waitress asked Lulu if she was married to Dillon. “Oh no, we’re just friends.”